doctor, my eyes

so, my ophthalmologist called.  very informally.  left a quick message.

i smiled faintly, and called him back.  him, i can deal with.  he's young, appreciative of humour, and someone who wants me to ask questions.  good man.

so, i have irregular corneas.  (dude, i'm irregular all over.)

he wants one of his partners to look at me, to make sure about the irregularity.

it could be that i have dry eyes, which would make the cornea appear irregular.

it could be that my cornea is changing, which would mean i need to be monitored each year for continual change, since the new toric lenses are helping me have great vision.

or it could mean that my cornea is changing significantly..... and that i will need surgery, and a cornea transplant in the future.

dr city (named by google voice) is hopeful.  i'm not going blind.  i'm not having wild difficulty.  i'm just needing to be looked over, and kept track of.....

....like i am with everything else.

thing is, my eye doctor doesn't think the chemo did anything to my eyes.  this is just a natural progression i get for being old.

so.... it's good that i went back to good old dr. city,  instead of staying with the optometrist chain that gives me a new doctor at each visit, and perplexed looks every time i come in.

a blessing in disguise, in a way.

oh well.....

new doctor, old feelings

i have a new oncologist.

i should have expected this when everyone at work was talking about having to switch over to another hospital system.  i just thought that you didn't change oncologists.   who would stop care so specific and careful over insurance?

so, i went in to see the new oncologist.

he seemed ok.  he wore a suit, and was ...um... there.  then he asked for a pet scan.  i hadn't had one in a-while, and it made sense that he wanted to get the full picture.

well, there was a light up over the left groin.  he wants to do another pet scan in march.  ok.

thing is, he isn't very personable.  he tends to spock things, and not in a good way.  matter of fact, and a cold undertone, he is.  (i'm upset and weary when i think of him.  that may be why it's been so hard to write about him.)

so, when he told me that i had an irregularity (a 9 mm light up), i cried.  and tried to control myself.

and he....just looked at me.  and said nothing.

just like enigma.

so, i've been on watch and wait, basically.  (albeit unofficially. they didn't call it "watch and wait" but it's the same idea.)

and.... now there's this lump.

a day ago, my breast was feeling tender.  now, there's this lump near my underarm, but not under it.  i called, and left a message for the nurse.

now, when i called and left a message with the old oncologist, she took until the afternoon to call me back.  well, i don't know if it's because of the holidays, or what, but i got a call very quickly.  an australian nurse asked me what was going on, and tried to get all the details.

she said she would tell the new oncologist about what was going on, and that they would see me on the 14th, for lab work and exam.  that was awesome news to me, because he hadn't labbed me at all since the first time he saw me.

my old oncologist labbed me every time she saw me.  my old oncologist gave me two antibiotics for every infection i had.  my old oncologist hugged me, and really let me know that she was part of my fight, not an observer of it.

i don't want to see the new oncologist, but maybe i can.... at the very least.......i can help him help me.

one hopes.....