sit rep

ok, i'm not suicidal.  i have to live.  there's too much going on in my life to leave this earth.  there's too much riding on these tires....

it's just very hard not to be scared, and discouraged, and weepy right now.

to-morrow i'm going in for the chemo.  i'm not 100%.  in fact, i feel really weak.  my regular oncologist will be there, and i have to ask her when she thinks i'll be done with my treatment since my vacation time ends this month.

i'm going to be entirely alone with a sub-standard vehicle all next weekend.

i'm feeling that everyone, and everything is slowly puling away from me.

this fight takes too long, i guess.  (most wars do.  i just wish..... too many things.)

i'm packing my chemo bag to-night.  ginger candy.  lemon drops.  tissues.  laptop.  journal.

hope?  if i can find any.

and the world travels on....