sit rep

small picture of how i feel to-day.  to remember.

i went sandal shopping.  it took a bit out of me, because it was above 80 degrees.  i drank water all day.  i feel weak, and a bit light-headed.  last night, i was on the verge of crying because of something i thought i totally messed up.

right now, i'm trying to keep cool.  the female side of me is hurting (i need to really ask about this, because i did this last time, too).  i just ate, and it seems to be helping.  (no nausea!  yay!)

i forget that i had a massive bunch of drugs pumped into me monday.  i forget that i still have prednisone to deal with. but, what i really have forgotten is that i am on the last day of an antibiotic that was helping my neck pain (which is now gone).

it's funny how one little thing will make everything much worse.

i'm going slower this time.  i want to be able to have energy for museum day on saturday.  (i'm hoping to walk out into the gardens, and really try writing in nature)  i want to be able to take pictures, and let the beauty come to me.

the other night, i got my head shaved.  (i wanted to start fresh, and get hope from seeing new hair grow.)  i had two witnesses carefully watching.

the older one was giggle, and said:  "i'm of two minds right now.  one, i'm sorry you're going through this.  two, can i touch your head??!!"

the younger one rebuked his brother, and said:  "i'm really sorry you have the cancer.... i don't like it...but... um.. can i touch it, too?"

i'm glad to have this balance in my life.  people who aren't afraid to ask questions, or joke with me about things.  it's very healthy.

i can't wait to see, and feel the new me.