first week back at work

how was work?   hard.  still is.  i work four hour shifts  (i'm part time) but it's still intense, because it's a very busy library.

co-workers help.  they don't remark about how different i look... or how horrible i do my job.  they just answer my dumb questions, and allow me to do my thing.  (thank goodness.)

it's very odd.  i can remember the complex things  (like how to cancel a hold, reactivate it, and change the location on it)  but i can't remember the simple things.  (where the hell are the large print books?  um... they're the same place they've been for the past six years, lady!)

i come home, and i'm wiped physically.  so much so that i take a nap before supper.  i need to stop that.... because i'm not getting to sleep on time.  also, i wake in the night, wondering why i have to sleep when i just woke up from a nap.  very confusing.

there is one "helpful" coworker who thinks it's her business to tell me to slow down, and not do so much....almost every time i talk to her.  i was sort of prepared for this lady, because she was like this before.... always making up drama between her and....just about everyone.  still, it's hard to take when i'm trying my best to do my best, while fighting the fatigue i know will only get worse when my radiation starts.

oh, yeah.... radiation.

um... the radiation tech called, and said they didn't get all of me scanned properly.... and that i would have to come in again to get re-scanned.  this wednesday.  so, that pushes radiation another week behind.

sigh.

still, maybe this is a good thing.  i'll have better habits by then.   i'll be used to work.  i'll be drinking more water, and be a bit more calmer.  so....

still, i wish it were over.

good things:  i have somewhat cool glasses to wear at work.  i have more and more stubble growing on my bare head.  my eyes are good... as long as i take zyrtec.

i'm not as sad.... as long as i don't think too hard.

it's getting better.  i just wish i were stronger.

soon, right?

day by day....