radiation initiation

.....actually called "radiation simulation"  but you know how i play with words.....

so i went in, dim and early at 7:50 am.  i waited in the waiting room... ended up i was in the wrong area.  (the radiation waiting room was further inside.)  luckily, i didn't wait too long.  i was instructed to come in, strip from the waist up, and put on a hospital gown.  (i'll do that every time i come into the radiation area... they even had a locker, with lock and key, to put my personal things inside of.)

they took me to a room that had a ct scanner.  i laid myself down on the skinny board, and put my hands up near my head.  there were two handles to hold onto, and a padded area where my head and arms were supposed to go.  as soon as i got in a comfortable position, the technician molded the paddings around me.... they would soon harden to help me remember the exact position i needed to be in for the radiation to work.

i was then slid in and out of the doughnut scanner, to see if i would fit through the machine with ease.  then, i was marked on either side of me, and in the right breast, with a marker.  then the technician went to go get the radiologist, to make sure he made the markings correctly.

the radiologist came in, and immediately gave me a too-bright smile.  she was all in "try to cheer her up" mode even before i had shown any sadness.  (i was mostly neutral throughout our interaction.)  she checked the markings, and deemed them correct.  she then took stickers with wires connecting them and surrounded the place where my tumour was with these special stickers.

then she was gone.

the technician used ink, and just a pinpoint of pain in three spots, highlighting more permanently the markings he had made.  he covered them with something he called bbs...stickers with little raised dots on them.  he said the ct scan would see the markings better with them.

i dressed myself carefully, and then he took me to the outpatient imaging area.

the hospital i go to is older..... and he knew a way to get to where we were going using a tunnel underneath the complex.  the halls were worn, and dead mall looking...... i was loving it, and wished i had a chance to take pictures.  (i should have. )

as we walked, i woke up more, and opened up to him.  he was one of three people i would see daily in my road to get well, and he seemed like a nice fellow.  plus, he was the cousin of someone i respected at work.... i was happy to tell him that his cousin was fair, and just, and really an all around nice person.  he said he had never gotten to get to-gether with her since moving back to town.... it's amazing the people we're related to who we never find time for.  i would love to have a relative in town.....

we went to the ct scan room, and i changed into a gown again.  when i was done, i walked into the ct scan room.  the technician was in deep discussion with the nurse helper, and didn't quite see me.  i didn't mind.  they seemed to really enjoy talking, and i didn't need to be anywhere.  finally, i was noticed, and there were apologies all around.  i said it was all right, but that i really should go to the restroom first.  the nurse giggled, and said that i must have had a ct scan before.  oh yeah!  :)

so, i came back from the restroom, and was carefully laid out on the machine exactly like i was in the other room.  my hands were up, holding the bars.  my head was straight, and in the middle of the padding.  my legs were up, and there was a padded wedge under my knees for comfort.

the nurse asked which arm i wanted the i.v. in.  i said i had no preference, but cautioned her that i had some scar tissue, and that she may need to stick me on the outside edges of my arm.  she did good needlework, and there wasn't hardly any pain.

at first, they slid me in and out of the scanner..... i'm not quite sure why.  then, the nurse warned me before the dye was about to go through.  there was no denying it.... the warmth went up and down my body, and i got that "you know, a bathroom would be nice about now" feeling.

and soon, things were done.

the technician and the nurse took off the wire stickers, and the bbs.  i have clear stickers where the tattoos are.... they are supposed to stay there until i next go into the radiation room.  i put my clothes on, and was soon somewhere in the land of orange juice, and sausage biscuits.

now, i wait until i'm scheduled for the radiation therapy.  still sounds like it's five weeks long, but even the technician said that she will check, and maybe i didn't have to do the five weeks.

i know better than to hope.

i'll write about my first week at work friday night, when i have a bit more energy.  i'm trying hard to pace myself, but i'm noticing that people think i'm "better" and are acting normal around me.... well, as normal as you can be around someone with drawn on eyebrows.  

what's normal, anymore?