on the 13 of august i had a pre-scan.
a week later, on the 20th, i had another, because the technician messed up.
now, a week later, i still haven't started radiation therapy.
i'm waiting on the doctor, i'm told. a doctor i don't like, trust, or respect at this point.
a doctor who said she is used to taking patients straight from chemo to radiation because of the importance of fighting the cancer.
the next time i see the doctor, i have to act like i care about what she's saying.
actually, i have to care, because it's about my life.... even if i have a shitty attitude towards a woman who asks, but doesn't even listen to a thing i say.
because i'm just this thing that needs to obey, and sit silently while she picks at me.
this is what i've become.
fuck it.
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