it begins (part one of the hair saga)

this may be a bit premature.... but i need to write about my hair.

this was me in february 2013

i don't quite remember the circumstances behind this picture. i think i was in the car. it was a nice day with the sun going through the car windows beautifully... (i usually don't like looking directly at the phone camera. i usually have to be thinking of someone to do so.) this is a before cancer shot.







this was me in december 2013

it was the day when the library lost electricity because of one of our ice storms, which is why i look so pensive. (ok, forget that. i look pensive in almost all my selfies. i think i look goofy smiling.) this is when i had the lump under my arm, but i wasn't really worried about it, because it hadn't gotten big enough to where i couldn't bend my arm down.











this is me in march 2013

it was my last day at work, so i was doing a lot of soul searching , which is why i look so pensive. (yeah yeah...you've heard that one before....) i knew what i was facing, and i was sort of glad to leave work to do it. (i had been hiding things for so long, that the deception was starting to get weary.)

as you can tell, i got my hair cut in layers to help when i start going bald. interestingly enough, the stylist had to thin the tips with thinning shears to get it to layer better. (i have rebellious hair.) it's a nice bouncy cut, and it frames my face well, which is good, because i tend to hide in my hair.

i have a lot of hair... thick hair... and i'm hoping against hope that i don't get too bald, but i know that the drugs are very powerful. in fact, i can feel the tumour inside of me....and i know it's shrunk considerably. (i was told it would shrink 50% with each chemo, and i can feel the difference.)

so it goes without saying that the drugs will affect me in other areas....

there's no real reason to make a post like this. i just... love my hair. especially with the grey. (i was loving the cool silver streaks against the reddish parts of my dark brown hair that was starting to appear in my front bangs.) i like tossing it... hiding in it.... brushing it...moustaching it underneath my nose... all the impossibly girly things that one does when she's still young inside, and wants to stay young inside...

my hair is the body part that symbolizes the young part of me....

oh, well. i knew i was going to to do a hard re-boot of my system with chemo. this is one of the side effects. i just wish it wasn't a side effect so far out in front.