i'm at the bagel place. i come here every tuesday with my youngest son. he does his homework, i try to write my poetry.... and we both spend the time waiting for his brother, who is in homeschool drama class.
it may be the last normal thing i do with him.
i don't mean to sound overly dramatic. but, with the diagnosis coming on friday, and the changes coming soon after, i can almost feel easy days like this slipping away. days in which people can depend on me to drive people places. times in which i am able to be let out alone, without being worried about.
i usually don't mind being treated like a child. there's a nurturing involved, and i love the attention that goes with it. i'm just hoping that the powerful drugs that are soon to go through me don't change me. i'm already enough of a bitch sometimes.... i don't need to lose the ones closest to me because of chemo.
damn, this entry is so scattered.... best stop for a bit.
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