telling people

i've started telling people at work about the situation.

there's shock. and a deep breath. and empathy all over their faces. but.... they follow my cues. and i use humour, and animation, and a bit of feistiness to prove that i'm ok with this.... and that not much needs to be said to comfort me.

someone said they didn't believe in God, but that they would think of me.

others have said they would do whatever i needed to be done. (i'm going to have a great mafia squad at the end of the week....)

all were positive. said they knew people who survived.

i have to survive.

one misunderstood, and thought i was not coming back. she said this was a good time to leave the library, what with all the changes that were being made. but i like the idea of people moving around more, and helping the patrons out there, rather than being stuck at the desk all the time. still, i understand that there are some workers that aren't wired that way... and would rather stay near the desk.

i know there's room for both. i just hope there's a space for me when i come back.

i wish i knew how long this was going to take. i'm at the impatient part. just get it over with! i'm believing i can go in, hear the news, and give two weeks notice. then, fight!

i'm believing i'm still in charge of the situation.

i know soon i won't be, though.

"what a falling off was there...."