back to work

to-day i went back to work after a week's vacation.

when you close a library for a day (this time it was for president's day), it always seems doubly busy the next day. monday people come in on tuesday, surprised the doors were locked. tuesday people act all confused that it's busy. add a full week of great weather (it made it to seventy degrees to-day), and you have a huge amount of people, all excited, and stirred up.

i was happy to come in and help. i was going to have a bone marrow biopsy, but when i got to the hospital at 5 am this morning, i found out it was scheduled for the next day. it turned out ok, though. work really needed me there to-day, and i really needed to work.... and find out things.

i told my boss about the cancer. my boss is very businesslike, and blunt. i wouldn't have her any other way. it's great to be able to have someone no-nonsense to lean on, sometimes. i tried my best to be just as businesslike with her, as i told her about my condition. i didn't cry .... and she understood what i was saying without me talking vaguely to her. it was a good talk.

it was hard to see her in shock, though. the hug i got from her was nice, but i could feel her sadness.

i looked at what vacation time and sick leave i had left. four months, then i would have to start paying for my own insurance. we have family members who say they will help us .... but i have no idea how much we'll need. or how long chemo is. or.... anything.

still, it was good to know i had some time to play with.

i'm trying to figure out how to tell people about my condition. i told a couple of people, and i know that word will travel, but i want to make sure the right people know. i also want to take out a lot of my work emails.... memories from many people. i know there are some emails from the time when my son worked at a library, too.

it's funny how many memories you want to keep ....

i need to learn not to run around as much as i did to-day. i could feel myself getting more tired than i usually have. enigma told me it was because i hadn't got a full night's sleep, which probably is true. i need to remember that sleep gives my body time to heal....

....and there's so much to heal from right now.