Saturday, February 22, 2014

very little

i'm working all day to-day. it's a wonderful madhouse of kids, adults, teens... computer users, dedicated readers, dvd and music fans.... everyone bustling into the kool aid house.

my customer service has continued to be uneven. i keep trying to help patrons without letting them tell me their stories. i think it's because i have enough on my emotional plate.... but a good library worker knows when to listen... and i haven't been listening lately.

i need to stop, and see what i can learn from people.... it's helped me in the past, and it surely should help me now, at this low level.

my boss was working with us to-day. she caught me in a difficulty with a patron who wasn't known to be very nice. that being said, i should have stayed on my guard, and been as polite as possible. instead, the patron admonished me .... and later on, my boss gently said i was abrupt, and often come off as such.

it was mortifying to me that she took the patron's side. but.... it helps me learn to be a better person .... as all of this will do.

i was once told by someone close to me that all i could do is work and fuck. i guess i'm taking this so hard because half my repertoire is gone. (or not.... if i can learn from my mistakes.)

anais nin says we write to taste life twice. i just wrote this out, and i feel better.... because on second evaluation, i can see myself improving. also, it's always been hard for me to hear other peoples' stories. my heart is on my sleeve so many times.... and right now, i have to think of me....

....no matter how much i don't want to.

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