the first radiation

7:30.  on the dot.  with escort.

immediately assumed the role.  went in, took off my blouse, and bra, and put on the backward gown.  quickly got called back in.  (no people were in the waiting room.)

the cool technician man, and a nice nurse woman were waiting.  i was immediately put on the board, and under the ray.

(this is almost exactly what the setup looked like:  http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/coping/radiation-therapy-and-you/page3 )

i laid down on the board, and waited for ....something.  anything to show that the process was starting.  i had been told that there would be pictures made, and then after that the procedure would start...but i didn't know which one was the camera, and which one was the ray.

it reminded me of the movie "i want to live."  it was a revolutionary movie against execution, with susan hayward in a starring role. at the end of the movie (spoiler alert)  she is waiting for the gas to drop, and the start of the execution.  as i remember, she was told to wait until she heard the pellet drop, then count to ten.

unfortunately, there were a couple of sounds that sounded like pellets dropping... so she ended up counting down two different times.

a very intense situation... her, alone with the machine that held her fate.... aimlessly counting down to her death.

i wanted to live, so i closed my eyes, and stayed as still as i could.... waiting for things to be over.

it was an intense ten minutes.

at one point, the camera block scraped against the board where my arms were.... i was praised for not moving, but they knew i was surprised because my "eyes got real big!"

it will be easier tomorrow, surely.  and i'm to see the radiologist (or, hopefully her assistant) every other wednesday.

i don't feel any different.... but i'm not really supposed to.... until the third or fourth week.  by then, i'll be too exhausted to care, right?

24 more to go.